Modesty
Awaiting scholar review
Clothing, gender interactions, speech, and gradual growth without cultural pressure.
What to cover day to day
The rules on covering the body (awrah (Glossary)) apply all day, not only in prayer, and they apply to men as well as women.
For men, a Hanafi answer on SeekersGuidance says a man covers from the navel down to and including the knee, at all times unless there is a need. A SeekersGuidance answer on swimming says to go a little past the knee and suggests three-quarter compression pants. Check that sport shorts still cover your knees when you sit, bend or run. If they ride up, wear compression tights underneath. Men also do not wear gold or silk, and the questions page covers wedding bands and rings.
For women, a SeekersGuidance answer describes the covering in front of men who are not close relatives as everything except the face and hands. The Quran tells believing women to draw their head coverings over their chests (24:31) and to draw their outer garments over themselves (33:59). The schools differ on some smaller details, so ask your teacher which ones apply to you. The modesty and clothing guide has a section on starting hijab (Glossary).
Covering also means clothing that is not see-through and not so tight that it shows the shape underneath. The SeekersGuidance answer on women's swimming, for example, asks for loose clothing that is not thin.
Both men and women are told to lower their gaze (24:30-31). A particular cultural garment is not the requirement. The covering is, and that is the target. If you cannot reach it everywhere yet, keep the step you can hold and plan the rest with a teacher.
Modesty is broader than clothing
Modesty covers clothing, gaze, speech, behavior, humility, and dignity. Clothing is part of it and not the whole of it. Learn what modesty is for first, then take steps you can keep up.
Gradual clothing changes
Start with what you can maintain: looser clothing, outfits you can pray in, or more coverage in settings where that is safe. Taking it step by step does not make what is required optional. Do not buy a whole wardrobe in a panic. Ask a qualified teacher what is required and how to plan the rest.
Grooming and the beard (fitrah)
The Prophet described a set of grooming habits as part of the natural way (fitrah (Glossary)). A hadith in Sahih Muslim (261a) lists ten, including trimming the moustache, letting the beard grow, cleaning the teeth with a tooth-stick, rinsing the nose, cutting the nails, washing the finger joints, removing underarm hair, shaving the pubic hair and washing the private parts with water. Apart from the beard and moustache, the list applies to women too.
Another hadith in Sahih Muslim (258) sets an outer limit: trimming the moustache, cutting the nails and removing underarm and pubic hair should not be left for more than forty nights. A weekly grooming day keeps you well inside it, and many people choose Friday.
The beard is where the schools differ. In Sahih al-Bukhari (5892) the Prophet said to let the beard grow and cut the moustache short, and Ibn Umar trimmed what went past his fist. A Hanafi answer on SeekersGuidance says keeping the beard is obligatory (wajib) in the Hanafi school, at about a fist's length, and that shaving it is prohibited. The same answer gives the Maliki view that shaving is unlawful. A Shafi'i answer on SeekersGuidance says the relied-upon Shafi'i position is that a full beard is recommended and shaving is disliked, not forbidden. It also notes that most scholars hold complete shaving unlawful, and that all agree shaving without an excuse is blameworthy. Ask your teacher which view you follow.
A beard is not a condition of being Muslim, and nobody should shame a brother whose job makes it hard. If your workplace requires you to be clean-shaven, talk to HR about accommodation before you decide anything. Ontario's creed policy (section 10.2) says dress and appearance rules must accommodate a religious beard unless that causes undue hardship. Its example is a bearded Sikh security guard. This is general information, not legal advice.
Culture and pressure
Muslim cultures have different clothing styles. You may like the look of one of them, and liking it does not make it required for you. Be careful around people who shame you, compare you harshly, or treat visible changes as the only measure of faith.
Family, work, and safety
Visible changes can affect how family reacts, and they can affect work or school. If a change might create hostility or danger, talk to a trusted local mentor before moving quickly. For workplace or school concerns, get qualified local guidance instead of relying on generic advice.
Close family you can relax your covering with (mahram)
Close family (mahram (Glossary)) means the relatives you may never marry. The list comes from the Quran. Quran 4:23 names the women a man may never marry, and Quran 24:31 names the men in front of whom a woman may relax her covering.
For a woman, these men are mahram:
- her father and grandfathers, her sons and grandsons
- her brothers, her uncles and her nephews
- her father-in-law, her son-in-law and her husband's sons
- her stepfather, once his marriage to her mother has been consummated (Quran 4:23)
For a man the list mirrors this: his mother, daughters, sisters, aunts, nieces, mother-in-law and daughters-in-law, and his stepdaughters once his marriage to their mother has been consummated. Foster (milk) relations can also make someone mahram (Quran 4:23). Ask a teacher if that applies to you.
Religion does not change any of this. A non-Muslim father, brother, son or uncle is still your mahram. SeekersGuidance answers in the Hanafi and the Shafi'i schools both say so, and the Shafi'i answer puts it plainly: mahram status does not depend on religion. Becoming Muslim is no reason to keep your father or brother at a distance, and hugging a parent or sibling is not the problem.
Cousins are not mahram. Neither are brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, step-siblings, or a friend's parents, because none of them are on these lists. The Prophet (peace be upon him) warned about a husband's relatives in particular (Sahih al-Bukhari 5232), so take extra care there. He also said a man should not be alone with a woman unless a mahram is with her (Sahih al-Bukhari 5233).
At family gatherings, you can relax your covering at home with mahram relatives. The Hanafi answer adds: unless you have reason to worry about how someone behaves. With cousins and in-laws, keep things friendly and in company. Help in the kitchen with everyone, sit with the group, and enjoy the day, without going off alone with one of them.
Safety comes first. Being mahram never obliges you to be alone with, or travel with, someone who is unsafe. A Hanafi answer from SeekersGuidance says this about stepfathers and siblings too.
Where scholars differ: the Hanafi answer allows a woman to travel with, or be alone with, a non-Muslim mahram who is not morally corrupt. The other schools were not checked for this guide. For a stepfather, one Hanafi answer says he is mahram when he is married to your mother and raised you, while Quran 4:23 ties the step-relationship to the marriage with your mother being consummated. Sketch your family tree and go through it with a qualified teacher, privately if you prefer.
Where to go next
- Modesty and clothingClothing steps you can keep, around work, school, family, safety and the weather.
- Questions about relationships and intimacyShort answers with sources, from close family to marriage, and where to get private help.
- Family and friends guideTelling your family, setting limits kindly, and staying close.
Related steps
Terms to know
- Hijabحجاب
- Commonly refers to the headscarf worn by many Muslim women as an expression of modesty and faith. More broadly, hijab refers to the concept of modesty in dress and behavior for both men and women.
- Halalحلال
- Anything that is permissible or lawful in Islam. It is most commonly used to describe food that meets Islamic dietary guidelines, but it applies to all aspects of life. If something is halal, you are free to enjoy it.
- Haramحرام
- Anything that is forbidden or prohibited in Islam, such as consuming alcohol or pork. These boundaries are meant to protect your well-being. If you are unsure whether something is haram, it is always okay to ask and learn.
- Awrahعورة
- The parts of the body that Islamic modesty guidelines say should be covered in front of others. What counts as awrah depends on the situation and on the scholarly opinion being followed.
- Fitrahفطرة
- The natural, pure state every human being is born in, already inclined to recognize God. Islam teaches that coming to faith is a return to that original nature rather than a move to something foreign.
- Mahramمحرم
- Close family: a relative you may never marry, such as a parent, child, sibling, uncle, aunt, niece or nephew, and some in-laws such as a father-in-law or mother-in-law. You may relax your covering in front of a mahram. Religion does not change it, so a non-Muslim father or brother is still mahram. Cousins and brothers-in-law are not.
Resources
New Muslim Guide
ArticleA broad online guide that covers worship, beliefs, manners, and the everyday basics.
Source: New Muslim Guide
Best for: One-stop beginner reference
Best used for foundations, not as a personalized fatwa source.
SeekersGuidance
ArticleFree courses and a question-and-answer service on the Islamic sciences, taught by qualified scholars.
Source: SeekersGuidance
Best for: Learning with qualified teachers
Good for structured knowledge. Ask locally about your own circumstances.
Sources used
These sources support the general topic guidance. For personal rulings or sensitive situations, ask a qualified local imam, scholar, clinician, or professional as appropriate.
- New Muslim GuideBeginner guide
New Muslim Guide - New Muslim practical guide
Cited for plain explanations of worship and daily life written for new Muslims.
- SeekersGuidanceScholar education
SeekersGuidance - Qualified Islamic education
Cited where the guide stops short and tells you to ask a qualified scholar about your own situation.
- What is Considered Awra (Nakedness) for Men?Scholar answer
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
SeekersGuidance Answers Service, approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani (Hanafi, citing Ascent to Felicity), 14 March 2011. Supports: a man's awrah is from the navel to the knee, with the navel not included and the knee included; it is covered at all times unless there is a need.
- Covering Nakedness While SwimmingScholar answer
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad, checked by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, 7 November 2020. Supports: a man must cover from the navel to the knees and a little beyond while swimming; suggests three-quarter compression pants.
- Guidelines for Interacting With the Opposite SexScholar answer
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, checked by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, 29 December 2010 (no school named). Supports: talking to or working with a member of the opposite sex when there is a need is fine; lower the gaze; avoid khalwa (it says one man with two women is not khalwa, which some Hanafi answers read differently); men cover from navel to knee and women all but the face and hands.
- Is Swimming Permissible for Women in Islam?Scholar answer
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
Shaykh Anas al-Musa, 4 October 2025. Supports: swimming is permissible for women with conditions: women-only places preferred, loose clothing that is not thin, and avoiding public changing rooms. It also says a married woman needs her husband's permission and cites a hadith against removing clothes outside the home.
- Quran 24:30-31: Lowering the gaze and coveringQuran source
Quran.com - Quran text and translation reference
Cited for: believing men and believing women are told to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, and women to draw their head coverings over their chests and not show their adornment except to the people the verse lists. The English wording is a translation of the meaning, checked against The Clear Quran.
- Quran 33:59: Drawing the outer garmentQuran source
Quran.com - Quran text and translation reference
Cited for: the Prophet is told to tell his wives, daughters and the believing women to draw their cloaks over their bodies, so they are recognised as virtuous and not harassed. The English wording is a translation of the meaning, checked against The Clear Quran.
- Sahih Muslim 261a: Ten acts of the fitrahHadith reference
Sunnah.com - Hadith reference
In Sahih Muslim. Cited for: the ten acts of the fitrah: trimming the moustache, letting the beard grow, the tooth-stick, rinsing the nose, cutting the nails, washing the finger joints, removing underarm hair, shaving pubic hair, washing the private parts with water, and a tenth the narrator forgot, possibly rinsing the mouth.
- Sahih Muslim 258: The forty-night limit for groomingHadith reference
Sunnah.com - Hadith reference
In Sahih Muslim. Cited for: a time limit was set for trimming the moustache, cutting the nails, removing underarm hair and shaving pubic hair, that they not be left for more than forty nights.
Sunnah.com - Hadith reference
In Sahih al-Bukhari. Cited for: 'keep the beards and cut the moustaches short'; Ibn Umar trimmed what went past his fist at Hajj or Umrah.
- What Is a Beard in the Hanafi School?Scholar answer
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
Mawlana Ilyas Patel (Hanafi), checked by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, 20 October 2023. Supports: in the Hanafi school keeping the beard is wajib, a fistful is the standard, and shaving is prohibited. It also gives the Maliki view (al-Dasuqi: shaving is unlawful) and the Shafi'i view. The Hanbali view is not covered.
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
Shaykh Amjad Rasheed (Shafi'i), 25 November 2016. Supports: the relied-upon Shafi'i position (al-Rafi'i and al-Nawawi) is that a full beard is recommended and shaving is disliked, not unlawful; the majority of scholars hold complete shaving unlawful; scholars agree shaving without an excuse is blameworthy.
- Policy on preventing discrimination based on creed, section 10: Specific casesPublic rights source
Ontario Human Rights Commission - Official provincial human rights policy
Supports the Ontario examples: prayer times that move with the sun, flexible breaks or staggered hours, no loss of pay for insignificant prayer time, working through lunch in Ramadan to leave early, and religious holidays without being forced to use vacation days. Section 10.2 (dress code and appearance): employers must accommodate a religious beard or head covering short of undue hardship, with a bearded, turbaned Sikh security guard as the example; it also quotes York Region District School Board guidelines on phys-ed clothing, private changing and alternative swimwear. Section 10.5 (creed-based exemptions): a Newfoundland case where a tribunal found an employer should have let someone else sell tickets to an event with alcohol instead of suspending a Pentecostal employee. Section 10.6 (food): creed-based food restrictions can extend to handling food, with a plant that reassigned employees who could not handle pork. Rechecked 25 September 2026.
- Sunan an-Nasa'i 5148: Gold and silk for women, not menHadith reference
Sunnah.com - Hadith reference
Sunan an-Nasa'i 5148, graded sahih (Darussalam). Cited for: gold and silk are permitted to the females of the Prophet's nation and forbidden to its males.
- Quran 4:23: The women a man may never marryQuran source
Quran.com - Quran text and translation reference
The Clear Quran translation by Dr. Mustafa Khattab. Lists the women a man may never marry: mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, nieces, foster-mothers and foster-sisters, mothers-in-law, stepdaughters under his guardianship if he consummated the marriage with their mothers, and sons' wives. Supports: the mahram categories, including the consummation condition for step-relations. The English wording is a translation of the meaning.
Quran.com - Quran text and translation reference
The Clear Quran translation by Dr. Mustafa Khattab. Believing women lower their gaze, guard their chastity and show their adornment only to husbands, fathers, fathers-in-law, sons, stepsons, brothers, brothers' and sisters' sons, fellow women and others named in the verse. Supports: the male mahram relatives, and that brothers-in-law and cousins are not among them. The English wording is a translation of the meaning.
- Sahih al-Bukhari 5232: Care with a husband's relativesHadith reference
Sunnah.com - Hadith reference
In Sahih al-Bukhari; the same report is in Jami at-Tirmidhi 1171, graded sahih (Darussalam). 'Beware of entering upon the ladies'; asked about the husband's relatives, the Prophet said 'The in-laws of the wife are death itself.' Supports: extra caution with a husband's relatives. That brothers-in-law are not mahram rests on Quran 4:23 and 24:31, not on this hadith alone.
- Sahih al-Bukhari 5233: No seclusion without a mahramHadith reference
Sunnah.com - Hadith reference
In Sahih al-Bukhari. 'No man should stay with a lady in seclusion except in the presence of a Dhu-Muhram', and a man is told to go on Hajj with his wife. Supports: not being alone with a non-mahram.
- Can a Non-Muslim Relative Be My Mahram?Scholar answer
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat, 5 March 2018, Hanafi. A mahram is anyone a woman may never marry, including a non-Muslim uncle. She may travel with and be alone with a non-Muslim mahram who is not morally corrupt, and she dresses in front of him as before unless impropriety is feared. Hanafi view only.
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
Shaykh Irshaad Sedick, 3 September 2023, checked by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, Shafi'i. 'The status of a person as a mahram is not contingent upon their religious affiliation'; a non-Muslim father-in-law is mahram.
SeekersGuidance - Scholar answer
Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat, 15 February 2026, Hanafi. A stepfather married to the mother who raised her is mahram even if not Muslim; mahram status does not make travel or being alone permissible where there are safety concerns, and the same applies to siblings. Quran 4:23 ties the step-relationship to consummation of the marriage with the mother, so the wording needs a reviewer.